Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
