Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm like, not good at living.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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