It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
