dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
