so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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