Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
