never play flip cup with pint glasses
he shaved USA in his pubs
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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