I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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