i may or may not be watching the land before time
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
