mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
