You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
