Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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