I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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