I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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