i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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