Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
