Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
