Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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