Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
