she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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