Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
