just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
