i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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