I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
