can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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