You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
