I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
