So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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