So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
