Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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