If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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