I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
