Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
