There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
