k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
