last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
