So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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