also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
