I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
