Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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