Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
3pm strippers are depressing
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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