My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm always down for nudity.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
