I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Couch. On fire.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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