tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
