just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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