Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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