can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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