if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
