it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
