the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
