i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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