we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
