So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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