It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
