do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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