New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
