I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
