Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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